fragileheart’s journal

I got this from Lara, who got this from Leah (but she called hers 25 before 25 hehe). It was hard to come up with 30 things that I wanted to accomplish before I turn 30 because I was stuck on this notion that they had to be big accomplishments. So I went smaller (in terms of “life-importance”), and it became an easier task. I also learnt a while ago that when setting goals for yourself, it’s important to be realistic, and to quantify (that is, to be more specific with the goal and not vague). Here goes nothing (in no particular order):

1. Get some decent momentum going in my career (event planner extraordinaire).
2. Start put money away for emergencies – even when I don”t think I can afford it (the plan is to stick to a minimum of $10 per paycheque).
3. Continue to put money away in my RRSP (the plan here? the same as above; $10 per paycheque).
4. Consult someone (anyone) on how to budget, and actually stick to it (Yes, it is that difficult for me that I feel I need someone to hold my hand the first little while).
5. Decide on an actual focus for this personal blog of mine. This is going to involve looking back on old posts and doing a bit of reorganising.
6. Find a professional mentor (thanks for this idea Leah).
7. Visit Greece.
8. Take a road trip, or two on my own (or with ONE close friend).
9. Visit a friend in Chicago (at least once).
10. Visit a friend in New York (at laest once).
11. Visit my best friend in Victoria, BC.
12. Organize a cottage weekend for New Year’’s with a group of my closest friends (even if we have to rent a cottage). And spend it single.
13. Visit a friend up North a few more times (assuming I get invited back).
14. Visit a friend (hehe or a few friends) in London, Ontario.
15. Join a choir, and perform with them.
16. Reach an intermediate level of Jazz/Broadway dance.
17. Learn at least 2 songs on my guitar (one song a year might seem small, but I think it’s more realistic).
18. Perform in an amateur musical production (complete with dancing yo).
19. Volunteer and ride for the Terry Fox Wilket Creek Park site two more times.
20. Become a regular volunteer for Big Brothers, Big Sisters Toronto.
21. Go rock climbing at least 5 more times. Maybe even climb a wall rated at 5.11. Maybe, just maybe even try climbing an outdoor wall.
22. Start and continue to play badminton and/or tennis and/or racquet ball at least once a month.
23. Get my own place (not necessarily to purchase but that would be nice).
24. Build on my existing female friendships; to a point where I can call certain ones my closest friends (and yes, I do have specific people in mind already).
25. Perfect at least 5 recipes (two mains, two appetizers and a dessert).
26. Figure out what kind of photos I need to enhance my portfolio (for modeling) and get them done.
27. Figure out why I get so insecure when I like someone when I have all the confidence in the world in every other part of my life (except of course when it comes to friendships – which are just another type of relationship right?). And most importantly, figure out how in the heck to accept and then deal with this limitation.
28. Learn to accept that it’s ok to feel a certain way; that it’s about what you *do* with those feelings that matter more.
29. Learn to always be honest about how I’m feeling.
30. The harder part to the above is this: Learn how to step away so that I can identify exactly how I’m feeling before I do anything that’ll result in something undesirable.
31. (Bonus) Finish a certain list that contains 180 bullets.

Do you have a milestone birthday coming up? What do you want to accomplish by then?

p.s. my footnotes plug-in isn”t working right now. Also, wordpress keeps adding apostrophe’’s to where I”ve used them. So if you see any extras, I”m not an idiot.

There isn”t much to say these days, but Pink’’s words do a lot of talking for me right now. So please, indulge me and enjoy this beautiful performance and work of art ((the lyrics)):

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don’t care

It’s only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning
The breathe before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
You’re whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone.
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It’s only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La La La La La La La La

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee,
Calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?
Tonight