fragileheart’s journal

I’ve been so good all summer. And it all went to shit… because I’ve been depressed about him.

Or am I just using him as an excuse to splurge?

Maybe

Well, there you have it.

I spoke to him briefly today… something’s up. I read the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” earlier this year (thanks Jen!) and the conversation just reminded me of things I read in the book. All I ever keep getting from him are excuses… yes I understand he doesn’t want to send me too many text messages because it costs a lot of money. That’s fine, but why hasn’t he replied to my emails? Why hasn’t he emailed me more like he promised he would? Things like that you know? I don’t know… All I know is, I’m sad.

On slightly brigther notes… I can’t wait for my early Birthday present!! My parents bought me an iPOD Nano!! Tee hee, I’m getting the 4GB in Black, engraved with “If music be the food of love… play on!”

I’m just sad that everything I do right now is just as a means of distracting myself from thinking about him and welling up with tears. It’s hard enough missing him this much. It’s even harder to think that the answer to the question I asked a few days ago, “Do you want me to wait for you?” is going to be No.

I’ve decided to wait a while before asking him again. A month. Is that long enough? To think about something like that? Should he even need a month? It’s a pretty big thing to ask of someone, isn’t it? Am I being completely stupid? Have I been completely stupid from the start? Perhaps. But love makes you stupid. Right? Maybe I’m just stupid and that’s why I always fall so easily. But then why won’t this go away and I fall for someone new already? Maybe I should go do some homework. Cheers.

Related content:

1. At least this year it came *after* my birthday…
2. Baby, it’s cold outside…