Category: 
May 10, 2008
If you looked at my list of ‘friends’ on facebook, you’d find yourself looking at a list of over 350+ people. Of course, if you know facebook then you know that this means absolutely nothing. Even still, people often think of me as someone who has a lot of friends… and I do… but I don’t have those friends who I lean on, who I call without thinking, who I hang out with without asking, who I would call when I’m bawling my eyes out without worrying about bothering them or who I know will help me with my wedding (should I ever decide to have one). I don’t even really have one person who fits half of those categories.
As I’m typing this, one male friend comes to mind who I’m sure will attest that he can be all that for me… but it’s not the same. With male friends, there’s always the chance that they’re doing it because they’re attracted to you (don’t argue with me on this, I have a whole blog post coming on this topic in the future). With female friends, if it happens that they do become attracted to you it’ll come from a deeper place than it would with male friends. But that’s not going off topic… so back we go.
Of late, I’ve had the pleasure of partying and hanging out with two different groups of women who seem to keep in contact with each other without effort (without thinking, as mentioned above). Luckily, there is at least one woman in each group who always thinks of me whenever a gathering is being planned… but I wouldn’t say I’m any closer to having that best friend I’ve been looking for. Sometimes (and very fleetingly), I curse my parents for not giving me a sister after my brother!
There was a friend I felt a similar connection with while I was in Uni, and I’ve written about her before… but we’re from two different worlds and I know it’ll never be what I’m looking for. But I did want to mention it because she still means the world to me - even if she’s not the (sister-I-never-had-all-time) best friend I’m looking for.
Now, (I don’t really want to say anything about this because I don’t know how she feels on the subject but) there is one female friend I made while I was in Ireland who I get on with very well. She’s the only one who’s really kept in touch with me since I’ve left, and she was the only one who would make contact with me every week just to chat. I miss her terribly. Is it weird to hope that someone becomes your bestfriend?
I blame this post on the movies I’ve seen recently themed around weddings, bestfriends (such as 27 dresses) and the like… you can too (blame, that is).
You want more? Sorry, this is the only post I have written on this topic so far...
Michaels latest..Gov. Sarah Palin: None of Your Business
I hope it does last a lifetime. I also do not like posting...
Horaayy..there are 11 comment(s) for me so far ;)
Hope I didn’t trigger this post by calling you a facebook friend collector…
Awh don’t worry… you didn’t
whoa! Marriage! I remember you telling me you’d never get married! haha..
Yeah, but Chris… there’s a big ’should’ in parentheses too!!
Awwww…
I too have a large group of friends, all around the world who I adore. Two, I actually call my best friends even though we don’t talk daily… hell, not even weekly or monthly.
This used to not bother me until I was talking to my mother recently, and she has friends who have been in her life for 20 years who she still talks to almost every week. I want that kind of friend. Someone who will be an essential part of my life that I can lean on when I feel my world is crumbling beneath my feet. And of course I would do the same for her. I have no idea where to even begin to look for that though.
Ah, so I’m not the only one… and believe it or not, all my friends are female. Guys are hard to befriend with for me.
Michaels last blog post..Five SCI-FI Movies with Plausible Science
I believe in quality over quantity when it comes to friendship. I move around a lot and it is hard to make new friends. I take good care of the relationships I have developed. I have two sisters by birth and four girlfriends who are all what I consider best friends. I talk to them all about once a week. I wish they all lived in the same town as me but if I needed them they would be on the next flight to NJ.
beekers last blog post..Charice Pempengco
I don’t think it’s weird at all. I can count my friends on one hand. I’ve always wanted that best friend, but the closest I’ve come to that is my husband. And while that’s awesome… you still need someone from outside, I think.
I think I’ve gotten used to NOT having that someone to call when shit gets rough, ya know? And this is of course why I have a few things wrong with me.
But anywho, I sincerely hope you find what you’re looking for
You’re awesome.
Jillians last blog post..Holy Matrimony
Monique - That’s the thing with me… my best friends are half way around the world too and they all have best friends who are in the same city they’re in… so I feel replaced. Of course I know I still mean a lot to them in their heart but it’s not the same…. *sigh*
Michael - no I’d say it’s actually a common thing… just not as common as the other scenario
Beeker - I try to take good care of my relationships but it’s hard… I don’t know why I don’t think to call people… I just don’t. Maybe it’s too much time online… so it’s kind fo nice that facebook has a chat feature now. At least I’m getting to talk to my Bubble more often.
Jillian - Thank you so much. You too are awesome
I think I’ve gotten used to it too… but I still want that. Maybe you’ve hit on a good point there though… maybe I do have these people in my life and I just need to get over worrying about bothering them when I need someone to call…. hm….
I have tons of acquaintances- a couple of real friends. Friends help you move. REAL friends help you move bodies…
I’m with Beeker, quality over quantity. Sometimes you can’t find that quality everywhere you go.
Pits last blog post..How to Deal with Your Enemies - Funny Joke
Pit - Maybe it’s a common thing among bloggers? And that’s why they’ve started a blog in the first place? I don’t know. I definitely agree though: quality over quantity!