fragileheart.com | journal

I won’t be ashamed to admit it, but I first heard this beautiful song on an episode of Dawson’s Creek. It was an episode where Jen (played by Michelle Williams) was in a mood (as they all usually were on the show) as she was trying to decide whether to go on holidays with her estranged parents or her has-always-been-there-bestfriend Jack (played by Kerr Smith). In an attempt to clear her head, she puts on this song and gets up on an armchair and totally just rocks out in a very cute way. I fell in love with the song then and I haven’t stopped loving it since.

Many people mistake the title of this song as ‘Teenage Wasteland‘ because the words ‘Baba O’Reilly’ are never once mentioned in the song but be assured, it’s the correct title. This song was the main reason I went to see The Who in Dublin. And this week when David Cook sang it to get into the top 3 of the Season 7 American Idol competition… I loved it even more!

I don’t even really know why I love it so much. Sure, it’s a great song. Sure, it’s got amazing lyrics, composition and yadi-yadi-yadda. But I usually fall for songs that tie in to something significant that happened in my life. But this song has managed to creep into my heart and has permanently lodged itself inside without any significant event to remember with it. So much so that I will do my best to catch any and every episode of CSI: NY that I can (it features this song as the theme song).

It could be my all time favourite song. But there are quite a few songs that could give it a run for it’s money… I may write about these songs. I may not… we’ll see where the tide takes me.

What’s your all time favourite song?

I close my eyes and let it take over my heartbeats, as the instruments take their places in the choreography of the song… I breathe in deep and out slowly. Getting the first note right, doesn’t always mean the song will go well but it just gives you that extra push. There’s no feeling like letting it all out from your diaphragm.

I love to sing, and I think I’m good - not good enough to get on Canadian Idol but maybe that’s a good thing. Everything happens for a reason right? There’s just something about belting out words that mean something to you, in a tune that completes the song. There’s a feeling that I get when I get to sing the songs I love, out loud. And the only way I can describe the feeling, is to say that, “My soul is happy when I sing.”

It’s happier when I sing well, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had the voice to sing a full song well. My diaphragm is out of practice, and my perma-cough doesn’t help matters much. But I still sing, to myself. I don’t sing in the shower anymore because I can’t seem to remember the lyrics to songs very well either. So I just end up singing the same verse and the chorus over and over again. But when I get in my car, and there’s traffic ahead… it’s like a dream come true. I get to concentrate on my singing and let all my troubles melt away.

I miss performing though, so I’ve been considering joining some sort of choir… or maybe just disciplining myself into learning lyrics so I can perform for people when they ask me to. It just seems like a waste not to, since I’m fully capable of singing A Capella.

Sounds like a good title to a song or a poem actually. Almost every Tuesday, I end up watching American Idol because my Mum watches it and we’re usually eating dinner when 8:00 p.m. rolls around. Today, I discovered that Carly Smithson, a contestant on American Idol is Irish. And she’s been getting amazing feedback from everyone including the ever-hard-to-impress Simon Cowell. I hadn’t been paying attention in previous weeks because I usually wash the dishes, but because I cooked tonight my Mum washed the dishes. It was the first time I had heard her speak! And I really miss Ireland because of it! I feel like revisiting The Beatles this week was too much of a good thing. But I loved that Carly sang Blackbird.

And Paula needs to shut up! She goes on for way too long and there is no substance to what she says! Every single one of her ‘comments’ could be said in 5 words or less. *sigh* It’s so sad because I still love her as an artist. Anyway, so I actually really hate the show because everyone (Randy, Simon, Paula & Ryan) on it is so annoying but I feel like I might just keep watching the singers perform because they’re all quite good. If I had to pick a second favourite, I would probably pick Brooke White because she has family in Halifax, NS. And she’s so the type of singer that I love. Of course, I have a favourite male singer too: Jason Castro! Because he sung my all time favourite song: Hallelujah by the late Jeff Buckley so well.

I can sing. But I’m out of practice. I can draw. But I’m out of practice. I can design. But I’m out of practice.

I used to always be singing, and designing. Not that I did any of that for a living. But that’s at a standstill since I’ve moved. Since I’m living on my own and have to reserve my funds for more practical things like eating. I also used to connect with people for a living. I used to create experiences that they will hopefully never forget, whether I’m in the memory or not did not matter. But that’s also been put on hold. So… what do I do for my soul?

Right now? Nothing… and it’s really not healthy. It would seem I haven’t been living a very soul-healthy life of late. But more importantly. What am I going to do about it?