fragileheart’s journal

These days

I’m feeling a little lost these days. There are a million thoughts swirling around my head. A bazillion different emotions swirling around my entire body. I want to stay at my job and be left alone to do the little that my job requires. I want to do something I’m passionate about but I feel incompetent to do that. And then I realise that I’m not. But then I’m scared to go and do something about it.

I want to move out of my parents house once and for all, and I don’t want to wait till he gets here to do it. But I don’t have the money to do it. I’ve started saving but its going frustratingly slow. The frustration makes me want to relieve some stress by going shopping. I think I’m independent yet I feel so trapped by so many different things.

I don’t know whether I’m coming or going and I don’t know where to start to figure it all out. There’s nothing anyone can do to help me figure it out yet, I keep racking my brain of the perfect person to talk about it all. I know I should start small, but. Everything I come up with, the other half of me comes up with another ‘but’.

Its a cycle I’m in, and I’m sure I’ll eventually pull myself out of it but I just needed to get some of it out. Thanks for listening.

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12 Comments Already

Debbie Lane Said,

February 7th, 2009 @21:47

I don’t have answers, but surely you know by now my friend that I am a good listener. Let me know, I can send you the number.

If not, then get active, it helps to release endorphins, those feel good chemicals to the brain!

Debbie Lanes latest..Love Stinks

beeker Said,

February 7th, 2009 @23:22

Don’t make decisions while you feel this unsettled. It will all work out!

trench Said,

February 8th, 2009 @01:27

Breathe in. Breathe out. I stayed with my parents quite sometime until I actually had the funds to move out with my wife. It was hard but in the end the payoff was worth it. Continue to do what you do and try not to splurge on that shopping spree! It will only bug you in the long run.. Love ya reg!

trenchs latest..Vantage Point (DVD)

Ken Armstrong Said,

February 8th, 2009 @05:45

Things don’t happen when you need them to happen but try not to get frustrated about that.

The day you stop wanting things to happen is the day to worry about.

(Then again, this begs the question, ‘what the hell does *he* know?)

Ken Armstrongs latest..Stumbling Upon Ghosts

Penny Said,

February 8th, 2009 @06:08

Reggy, I feel exactly the same as you at the moment. After my visit to my boyfriend for our anniversary everything just seems more complicated. And I am saving too but just want to spend money!! But I guess we both know it won’t help. I hope you can figure things out. Have you been talking to your boyfriend about it? I am trying to talk to everyone, not really getting anywhere. I guess something just needs to happen to sort of kick start everything? You are probably putting a lot of pressure on yourself to make something happen, especially with the job. But I suppose you should try to remember that when you do make a move with your job it will probably make your life happier in the long run. Hope you’re ok xxx

Pennys latest..My Art

grace Said,

February 8th, 2009 @10:17

*hugs*

graces latest..so busy

Bitter Chocolate Said,

February 8th, 2009 @17:52

Buddhist think that everything is a cycle, but it’s actually never completely the same once you start another round. I’m not quite exactly a buddhist, and I believe you can break out of your cycle, as people are meant to progress. Hope you’ll have lots of strength!

Bitter Chocolates latest..orientation week (numero dos!)

fragileheart Said,

February 8th, 2009 @18:50

Thanks you guys. I’m not quite sure what is going on with me right now and I really appreciate all of your support. I have a few posts scheduled to come out in the next week or so and after that I may or may not be back for a while.

@Debbie: I have your number… I may take you up on it but so far I’m good. Thank you

erin Said,

February 8th, 2009 @20:18

I have faith that everything will work out for you in the end, in its own time. You are a kind and intelligent person so I believe good things will happen.

Your twenties can be a particularly trying time. I think they call it the quarter-life-crisis. I definitely went through it.

Figure out what truly makes you happy. Then figure out a plan to get you there… one small step at a time.

For me, writing down my thoughts and feelings helped. Sometimes I would read what I wrote and feel silly. Putting it in black and white sometimes has a way of putting things in perspective.

You have my email if you need to reach me!

erins latest..A chef, a maid, or a chauffeur

Ayprel Said,

February 8th, 2009 @21:31

I feel you there, and I agree with Trench. Hold up on the shopping spree. It will make you feel better later, trust me. Find alternative stuff to do that is free.

Ayprels latest..Geekery

Michael Said,

February 9th, 2009 @18:41

I’m having a confidence issue lately, too. I even dream of it.

Margaret Said,

February 10th, 2009 @10:32

Reggie — I understand and empathize with your feelings. I’m with Debbie though – get active — go for a long walk, bicycle, jog or SOMETHING to burn off some energy. You WILL, feel much better afterwards!

No spending money – you can hold out for your ultimate goal!

ê¿ê

Margarets latest..Another Passion of Mine — Photography